The Macho Prophecy

The Macho Prophecy is the often times forgotten chapter in all religions depicting a doomsday or rapture that could only be stopped by a Macho hero.

The Prophecy
The Christian prophecy is as follows;

"The end of days is not near, but shall be in the future times. In the year of Christ's 2011th birthday, the four horseman shall return once more to destroy all of God's creations.

"But all hope shan't be lost, for there will exist a hero, a Macho hero, a hero that is the cream, who shall save the Earth as did Christ himself. He shall challenge the four horseman to a battle, of wits and might and of the true divine sticks of beef. He versus all four, at once, as to sacrifice himself for all humanity."

-Machus Wrath: 1:1

The prophecy is basically the same in all religions, with the wording a little different. All prophecies tell of a "Macho" hero fighting off the end of the world while using the power of "divine sticks of beef."

Real-Life Equivalent
The real-life equivalent of this prophecy's hero is Macho Man Randy Savage, who died on the same day as the rapture was supposed to occur. As it did happen in the 2011th year AD, that would make Jesus 2011 years old, and the constant use of a capitalized "Macho" may be a connection to his name. The "divine sticks of beef" may be a reference to Slim Jims, flavored beef sticks that were heavily endorsed by Macho Man. The reference to the "Macho hero" as "the cream" may be a reference to an interview he did where he described himself as the "cream of the crop" and said that "the cream will rise to the top."

Trivia

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